Creating Steadiness in Times of Uncertainty 

A Mindful Self-Compassion Approach to Fibromyalgia Care

Where I live in Southern California, we are currently in the midst of an unprecedented spring heat wave. Other parts of the country have endured a brutally long and cold winter. Seasonal transitions often bring a quiet kind of disruption that is hard to describe.

The light shifts. The temperature changes. Daily rhythms adjust, sometimes subtly, sometimes abruptly. And for many of us living with fibromyalgia, these transitions don’t just happen “out there” in the environment. They happen in our actual body. I’m sure you know what I mean.

Globally, we are also living in a time of unprecedented upheaval and uncertainty. Is it just me, or do you also find yourself checking the news multiple times a day to see what new disaster has occurred? (I don’t actually recommend doing this!)

Uncertainty is part of life, for sure, but for many of us living with fibromyalgia, uncertainty can feel especially destabilizing. When the future feels unclear, our bodies may respond as if something is wrong right now. 

Sensitive fibro bodies generally do not thrive in unstable situations. Pain may flare. Fatigue deepens. Sleep becomes more fragile. And emotionally, there can be a sense of unease that’s hard to name, but very real.

If you’ve ever found yourself pushing harder during these times, trying to “stay on top of things,” keep your routines intact, or compensate for your symptoms, you’re not alone.

This pattern has a name: over-functioning.

Why Uncertainty Activates the Fibromyalgia Nervous System

Fibromyalgia is not just a condition of chronic pain. It is also deeply connected to how the nervous system processes stress, change, and threat.

When your system perceives uncertainty—whether it’s seasonal change, global events, a disruption in routine, or even subtle environmental shifts—it may respond as if something is wrong.

Not because you’re doing anything incorrectly.

But because your nervous system has learned, over time, that unpredictability requires vigilance.

This is especially true if you have a history of:

• Chronic Stress
• Trauma or adversity, grief or loss
• Long periods of needing to “push through”
• Being the one others rely on

In these contexts, uncertainty can feel unsafe, even when there is no immediate danger.

And the body responds accordingly:

• Increased muscle tension
• Heightened pain sensitivity
• Fatigue crashes
• Difficulty resting
• Urgency to do more, not less

Understanding Over-Functioning as a Protective Pattern

Over-functioning is not a flaw. It is a protective strategy. At some point in your life, being highly responsible, attentive, and productive likely helped you cope, succeed, or even survive. 

But in the context of fibromyalgia, this same pattern can become costly.

Probably 100% of the women I work with tell me they spent years, even decades, pushing through pain, brain fog and fatigue to meet expectations of their own or others. This was my experience as well.

So now, you may have difficulty resting without guilt, taking care of others before tending to your own needs, feeling anxious or unsettled when you slow down, and a tendency to override early warning signs from your body.

During seasonal transitions, this pattern often intensifies.

Your body is asking for more support, but your nervous system is urging you to do more. This creates an internal conflict that can lead to flares, exhaustion, and discouragement.

Shifting from Control to Steadiness

When things feel uncertain, it’s natural to want control. But for many of us with fibromyalgia, trying to control symptoms or maintain previous levels of functioning can increase stress in the system.

The goal during uncertain times is not to eliminate uncertainty, it is to create steadiness inside your body and your daily life. 

Steadiness is not about eliminating symptoms or having perfect routines. It’s about creating a felt sense of enough safety, enough support and enough flexibility so your nervous system does not have to stay on high alert.

Finding Steadiness in the Natural World

My favorite way of creating steadiness and calming my nervous system is to spend time in nature. We recently had dear friends visit from out of town and we took them to visit the Joshua Tree National Park about an hour from our home.

Basking in the 800,000 acres of natural mystical beauty never fails to reorient me to the here and now and to take my scattered thoughts and bundle them in peace. Even though uncertainty abounds, in precious interludes in nature I can rest from fearful thoughts and trust in a Greater Presence and in the goodness of the present moment.

Here are a couple photos of me and my husband Ron at Joshua Tree National Park.

A Resource for Coping with Uncertainty

During the pandemic, another recent experience of global uncertainty, I created a toolkit called the Psy Cap MiniWorkbook: Cultivating Psychological Capital and Managing Chronic Illness in a Time of Crisis. 

Mindful Self-Compassion as Nervous System Support for Inner Steadiness

Mindful Self-Compassion is not just a mindset.

It is a physiological intervention composed of three parts:

1. Self-kindness, treating yourself as you would treat a friend
2. Our common humanity, recognizing that we are all flawed and we all suffer at times
3. Mindfulness, being aware of the present moment.

A Seasonal Reflection

As you move through this seasonal transition, you might gently reflect:

• Where am I pushing when my body is asking me to slow down?
• What would “steadiness” look like for me right now?
• What is one small way I can support my nervous system today?

You don’t need to overhaul your life.

Often, one small shift—a pause, a kind word to yourself, a decision to rest—can begin to change your trajectory.

When your nervous system feels safe enough, your body no longer has to fight so hard to protect you.

Steadiness is not something you force. It is something you create, moment by moment, through small acts of awareness, compassion, and support.

Action Steps: A Gentle Noting Practice

This is a simple, trauma-informed, mindful self-compassion practice from Dr. Kristin Neff’s book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being to Yourself (affiliate link).

You can use this exercise during seasonal transitions or anytime you feel yourself speeding up internally. You can do this exercise briefly in a few moments, or you could do an extended practice for ten to twenty minutes.

Step 1: Pause. Wherever you are, gently stop for a moment. You don’t need to change anything yet. Just pause and make a mental note of whatever thoughts, emotions, sounds, smells or other physical sensations that arise in your awareness.

Step 2: Notice your body. Ask yourself: What sensations am I aware of right now? Is there tension, heaviness, warmth, or fatigue? There’s no need to analyze, just observe.

Step 3: Name your experience. You might say quietly to yourself “This is a moment of uncertainty”, “My body is working hard right now”, “This makes sense.”

This step is important. It helps your nervous system shift out of alarm and into acknowledgement.

Step 4: Offer support. Place a hand on your chest, abdomen, or anywhere that feels comforting. Then offer a phrase of support, such as: “I don’t have to push right now.”

“I can take this one step at a time.” “It’s okay to go gently.”

Over time, this simple practice helps retrain your nervous system to associate uncertainty with support, rather than urgency.

If this time of global uncertainty and seasonal changes has been difficult for you, please know this:

You are not behind.
You are not doing it wrong.
Your body is responding in the best way it knows how.

With gentle, consistent support, you can learn new skills to create more steadiness in your life.