Fibromyalgia, Perfectionism, and Finding a Better Way 

Jeannette Rechsteiner learned that caring for herself did not require giving up her ambition. It required noticing her body's signals and choosing where her energy mattered most.

What if the thing you need to leave undone is the floor, not your own needs?

Certified Fibromyalgia Coach^® Jeannette Rechsteiner spent years pushing herself to meet every demand. She had a career in finance, three children, and a home to care for. She wanted to do all of it well. Then a severe fibromyalgia flare changed what was possible. In our conversation, we talked about the care that helped her begin feeling better, the harder work of staying better, and what it meant to stop ignoring herself.

This article comes from an interview I did with Jeannette for our Living Well With Fibromyalgia: Holiday Edition summit — which I recently shared as Episode 188 of the Fibromyalgia Podcast^®.

I've pulled the key points from our conversation, but be sure to check out the full interview for more on Jeannette's story, what's helped her most in her fibromyalgia journey, and a "lightning round" of 20 questions!

About Jeannette Rechsteiner

Jeannette lives with her husband and three children in Switzerland. After 30 years, she was finally diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2023 and ADHD in 2024.

She’s an economist, analyst, founder of two companies, and former board member of the Swiss Fibromyalgia Association.⁠ With experience managing complex demands, Jeannette specializes in coaching high-achieving women and men, guiding them to regain hope, restore balance, and create better lives, combining heart, humor, and effective strategies.⁠

Learn more about Jeannette through her articles here on The Fibro Compass℠ or on her website at https://fibro-myalgie.ch. To schedule a consultation with a Certified Fibromyalgia Coach^®, visit our Find A Coach page here.

“I was a really pushing woman”

Before fibromyalgia became such a big part of your life, what were you like?

Jeannette:
I was a CFO at various companies, but that is more like my CV. I was a driven person, mostly overwhelmed — a really pushing woman. I was a perfectionist, pushing through life, wanting to be perfect and do everything for everyone. That was obviously not possible. I felt a lot of guilt toward my children and sometimes toward my job. Being a mother and working is hard.

What happened when you finally got your fibromyalgia diagnosis?

Jeannette:
I was in the middle of my most severe flare. It lasted from fall 2022 until summer 2023. At one point I couldn’t walk anymore. My pain was an eight or nine out of ten, and I felt disconnected from my life and my purpose.

Eventually I saw a rheumatologist and got the diagnosis. That was a turning point. Medication helped me begin to get out of that hole, and I started learning everything I could.

She came to help others — and learned she needed care, too

When you applied for the Certified Fibromyalgia Coach^® program, were you looking for more help for yourself?

Jeannette:
I had already improved. I didn’t realize how much help I still needed. My intention was to help others. In Switzerland, I had struggled to find the kind of fibromyalgia-specific help I was looking for, and I wanted other people to have it.

I had already found the Fibromyalgia Podcast^®. In spring 2023, I was starting to walk again with your voice in my ear. We spent hours together on those walks.

I didn’t know I was going on all those walks in Switzerland with you!

What was it like when you began working with your coach, Kim Osborne?

Jeannette:
I had no idea what self-care was really about. With Kim, I had to start with me: my perfectionism, the way I lived, the way I pushed. It was hard to realize that, even as I got better, I would need to keep noticing when I was pushing too hard.

She helped me see that resting and sleeping were part of taking care of myself. I learned that I didn’t have to buy all my self-care. For me, reading is self-care. It is in daily life: working more calmly, not pushing so much, and saying no so you can say yes.

I love that distinction. Self-care is not only another appointment to fit into an already full calendar. It can change the way you move through the day.

Getting better and staying better

You made a point in our conversation that I think people need to hear: getting better and staying better are different things.

Jeannette:
Yes. Getting better is one thing. Staying in good shape, staying in remission — that is another topic. For me, medication was part of feeling better, as was coaching and learning to take care of myself. I still pay attention to what helps me stay well.

Even with my own fibromyalgia in remission, I think every day about how to keep it that way. It is not like getting over a cold and never having to think about it again.

Jeannette:
Before, it was like a roller coaster. I could have good times, but I didn’t know when a flare would come. Now I pay attention to my early signs. If I notice I’m more sensitive to smells or light, or more reactive, I can change my plans instead of waiting until things get worse.

The windows And Dust Bunnies can wait

You also talked about what changed for your children as you became kinder to yourself.

Jeannette:
My kids used to tell me, “Mom, you have to chill out.” I would think, “Don’t tell me that. I have so much to do. I can’t chill out.”

But when you are nicer to yourself and you aren’t pushing all the time, you don’t push your kids as much anymore. Now maybe my windows are not super clean. Maybe I could clean the floor more often. I never thought I could ignore those things. Instead of ignoring myself all the time, I can ignore some tasks.

That is such a good point. You are ignoring something. Are you ignoring yourself, or the dust bunny in the corner?

Jeannette:
Exactly.

Still ambitious, with room to recover

When you say you’re a perfectionist, you mean more than wanting clean windows. Your Fibromyalgia Wellness Style℠ is The Perfectionist. How does knowing that help you work with yourself now?

Jeannette: 
I’m still a bit pushy. I haven’t become a different person. But I reflect more. I can organize some sprints, and afterward I can go sit on the balcony. It isn’t a marathon at high speed anymore. It’s more like sprints and then holiday, sprints and then holiday.

The people I love coaching are often high achievers who are used to pushing and feeling guilty. They have that inner strength and drive. They don’t have to stop being themselves. And the tough women and men are often very soft inside. I see that, too. They don’t have to be tough when they talk with me.

It’s okay to be that person. That is how you were made. Be yourself, for sure. But let’s take good care of ourselves while we’re doing it, too.

What Jeannette Wants You To Know

If you could tell our readers and listeners one thing, what would you want them to know?

Jeannette:
Think about trying a coach. It’s hard to change everything on your own. There are so many treatments, doctors, and tools out there — it can feel like a jungle. With a Certified Fibromyalgia Coach^®, you have someone who understands how you feel and can help you find your way through it. I would love to have my coaching 20 years back.

And if you feel that purpose to help others, like I did, reach out to Tami and ask about a program. You don’t have to wait until your fibromyalgia is at its worst to start. I had already improved when I joined, and I still learned so much.

Action Steps

If Jeannette’s story has you thinking about working with your own coach, you can find a Certified Fibromyalgia Coach^® here.

Or if hearing how her coach helped her makes you want to help someone else, learn about our ANCC-accredited fibromyalgia education and training programs here.

And that line — “You are always ignoring something” — is a good question to carry with you. It can help you make a more conscious choice about exactly what you’re choosing to ignore.